1. You’ve been called a whinging Pom even if at the time you had a massive smile plastered on your face
2. It doesn’t matter how many times you get told that not everything will kill you, you’re still convinced that everything will kill you.
3. The waterproof money still amazes you beyond belief.
4. The fact that family and friends still can’t work out what time it is even though they can just google ‘time in Sydney’ is a source of both bafflement and annoyance. No I can’t skype at 6pm your time I will be ASLEEP.
5. A Kiwi has got very annoyed when you ask which part of the country they’re from. They’re from NU ZE-LUND you deck. (Bonus point if you get the joke).
6. You don’t know whether to be horrified or pleased that kebabs are considered a valid food choice for lunch.
7. The first time the weather is bad the confusion will kill you. But it’s always sunny in Neighbours and they live in Melbourne! Lies…
8. …and don’t get me started on the point you discover they have ski seasons here. Snow? Eh?
9. At first you tear your hair out at how bad the internet is before coming to a slow acceptance that you’ll never be able to stream anything without interruption, even in big cities.
10. When you get here it’s assumed that you catch trains like everywhere in Europe. Nope.
11. For a sense of familiarity you sign up for a mobile with Vodafone only to realise your mistake when you literally get signal nowhere. After a period of stubborness you eventually switch to Telstra, like everyone told you do in the first place.
12. Although you won’t admit it openly, you realise that Vegemite tastes way better than Marmite.
13. You’re still not sure why it’s so difficult for Australians to put pork in a sausage. What’s with all the beef?
14. After the first time you have to pay for some dental/medical treatment you make a pledge to help save the NHS as best you can.
15. Who cares if it’s touristy, you’ve paid to hold a koala at least once. And then made it your profile picture.
16. You’ve seriously upped your coffee game and turn your nose up at Starbucks. Why go to a chain when there are three artisan cafes on every block?
17. Posting smug beach photos during February literally never gets old.
18. But you do weirdly miss the cold weather at Christmas, even if it’s just because you’re craving mulled wine.
19. You never bother watching TV because it’s terrible, but when you do you’re surprised to see that half the channels are showing old british re-runs. Homes Under The Hammer and 60 Minute Makeover anyone?
20. The mystery of why rugby is called footie still hasn’t been solved.
21. During your first visit to the pub you are baffled by the choice of size. What is a schooner and why is a pot so bloody small?
22. It doesn’t matter how much you miss home, falling in love with this amazing country is inevitable.